


Of Grief and Growth

by WednesdaysDaughter



Series: Unrelated Drabbles [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Healing, M/M, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:26:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3144137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WednesdaysDaughter/pseuds/WednesdaysDaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a long journey home and Bilbo would savor every step he took until he was safe in the sanctuary of his garden where Thorin Oakenshield would live once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Grief and Growth

**Author's Note:**

> Just saw BoFA for the 4th time and needed to write this down.

Deep voices echoed throughout the great halls of stone and filled the hearts of all beneath the mountain.

Bilbo’s body pulsed with pain, radiating from his head wound to his blistered feet that hissed when they met the cold rocky floor. Oin had wrapped a bandage over the gash on his forehead and offered him something for the pain, but Bilbo had declined.

There was no medicine for this kind of pain.

Bilbo scanned the solemn faces of those gathered around the tombs and took note of Bard and Thranduil as well as their people. He watched as the Arkenstone and Orcrist were placed on Thorin’s breast before he was encased in cold stone. Bard looked to him as he backed away and Bilbo nodded in thanks for both Bard’s kind words and deed. He repeated the motion when Thranduil followed Bard’s gaze and inclined his head.

Bilbo could not understand what was said next, but the familiarity of Balin’s voice flowed over him like a calm wave upon a lake’s edge and suddenly he knew with utter clarity what was being said. Balin spoke of greatness and bravery, of loyalty and love – things Bilbo as well as the rest of the company felt when they thought of Thorin Oakenshield and Fili and Kili.

When Balin finished a hush fell over the mountain and it took Bilbo a good while to realize that all were looking to him. Gandalf coughed softly and nudged Bilbo until he stood before Thorin’s tomb and suddenly the weight of hundreds of eyes fell upon him and Bilbo forgot how to breathe.

He cleared his throat and opened his mouth and stopped.

Bilbo suddenly wished he were anywhere but Erebor. He felt the longing for the Shire slam into him so brutally that he was tempted to slip on his ring and vanish into the darkness. His hand slid into his pocket, but instead of finding gold his fingers brushed against the acorn and courage surged through his body much like the grief that left him helpless upon Ravenhill.

“I would trade a hundred Arkenstones to see Thorin rise, Fili and Kili as well. I left my home to help them reclaim theirs and though it was for a brief time, a tumultuous time, I will always be grateful for this adventure, for knowing Thorin Oakenshield, and for being given the chance to tell him thus before he left Middle-Earth.”

Bilbo paused, listening to Dwalin’s sniffles and Ori’s hiccupped sobs. He felt tears come to his eyes and when his eyes rested upon an elf standing behind Thranduil, one with fire red hair and tear tracks running down her face, Bilbo blinked and let them mirror the grief he saw around him.

“Farewell, Thorin Oakenshield! And Fili and Kili. May your memory never fade.”

Murmurs of agreement followed Bilbo back to his place beside Gandalf until it was time for the ceremony to end, leaving only torches to look after Thorin, Fili, and Kili. He looked back only once and said all that he could not to himself and locked those words away deep within his heart.

Later Bilbo watched the men of Lake-Town and the elves of Mirkwood leave the mountain, choosing to wait until Dain was crowed to leave Erebor. The elf he saw earlier, who he learned from Bofur was named Tauriel, stopped next to him and together they stood in silence, sharing in their unspeakable grief.

“I cannot thank you enough, for healing Kili back in Lake-Town, and getting them out of there during Smaug’s attack.”

Tauriel exhaled sharply and Bilbo could tell what she was thinking, though she did not voice it.

_What good did it do?_

Bilbo hummed thoughtfully and pulled out the acorn.

His rueful chuckle caught Tauriel’s attention and she watched Bilbo slip it back into his pocket before patting it gently.

“It’s a silly little thing, I’ll admit,” he began and Bilbo opened his mouth to say more, but smiled ruefully at Tauriel instead.

A smile slowly unfolded across her lips and they both were granted a brief moment of reprieve.

“It is a small thing that will grow into a great thing Master Hobbit. Much like what you carry in your heart,” Tauriel mused.

“And in yours as well I’d imagine.”

She nodded shyly.

The rush of fondness that overwhelmed Bilbo felt so familiar he could not contain it and when his hand connected with Tauriel’s he gave it a brief squeeze.

“Then we are both lucky to have had them as long as we did.”

That was all that was said on the matter and Tauriel hummed in agreement before tightening her hand around his in return. Bilbo watched her rejoin Thranduil’s company and he ventured back into the mountain to gather his things and say his goodbyes.

It was a long journey home and Bilbo would savor every step he took until he was safe in the sanctuary of his garden where Thorin Oakenshield would live once more.

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love the idea of a Bilbo/Tauriel friendship and I felt like them both knowing that the other exists and feels the same pain would bring them both a little comfort.


End file.
